Wednesday, October 22, 2008

::Voice of my heart::

People will always think that we such a good, happy, lucky family. We may laugh, we may smile, we may do some jokes, we may make people happy, but we just feign to. I’m not saying that we are pretend to be happy with u guys, while we’re not, but there are something deep inside, will always bother us…whatever we do, wherever we go, we still burden with that problem..

All my mom’s children mostly had succeeded in their life… An army officer, an educator, 2-coming soon educators, and me as lecturer (InsyaAllah) and 2 still in school, make people’s around her always feel that my mom is a lucky women in the world. Without her husband beside her since more than 5years ago (my father had passed away on 2003), she still can manage us, to be useful person. Yeah, I admit that we had have live in good condition now, not too luxury, but just comfort and thankful with what we had.

But no one knows, beside all those things, we still had a tough time in our life when it involving a person, a guys that is important to us, but he never assume us important to him…You guys will never imagine what this guy had done to us… It was very unmerciful, cruel things that no one can believe that he dare to do us like this…his bloody family… We will always ask the same questions, which no one have the answers.

Is this because of our mistakes, fail to teach him, educate him to be a good person?
Why he do this to us?
What should we do to change him?
What else we can do?
How many times we have to give him the chances?
How long we need to wait until he is ready to change?
How come he does this to us?
How can we explain it to our neighbours?
How can we face other peoples with his behavior?

The last two questions were very tough for us. People will not believe if we told them this, cause we’re seem always happy, without any problem... They have their own opinion, from what they saw, from what they heard, from what they thought and started to gossiping other’s privacy issue, as far as they know, and sumtimes add the spices to their story, add rumors here and there, complete full story with 100% twisted. Anyhow, nothing we can do, it always is like that, as long as u’re human…We already get used with this, because we have no choice…

I know he will not read my blog, never, but I just want to say that I’m tired of this…We’re tired of this... Please, stop to get people’s attention by applying your new discovery ‘silly method’ which is not interesting and fun at all! In fact, it was so annoying and irritating..

About the answers of the questions, seriously I have no idea about this..Only HE knows what the best is for us…

What we should do now, never stop to say a prayer to ALLAH, hope that he will transfer to other person by the time..when? I don’t know…Just keep hoping…and don’t blame ourself. It’s not our fault, he chooses his own way…

YA ALLAH, give us the strength to encounter all the problems created by him.. Ameen..

-->To anyone who do not know the exact story, please ignore this post..

This is just only my ‘luahan hati’ dikala GERAMMM yang amat sgt..sekian..